Wisdom of seeing glass half empty....

This season have been very hard for my husband as he has been working very hard on his way in getting his tenure. It requires, as he puts it, many, many, many, many hours in writing and editing, writing and editing, writing and editing until it gets published....

As for me, a newly wedded wife, I found my self in an unfamiliar territory; not only being a spouse and a companion but also as a cheerleader and a supporter of my husband. I found that I am not used to with the idea of being a "cheerleader" because I am used to with the idea of being a "player."
I love the challenge of being a "player", setting the goal, getting the score, and taking the prize. I enjoy taking the impossibility and making probability into reality.

My definition of living in faith has been defined since I was sixteen years old; I remembered when my sister was trying to dissuade me from going to study in the United States. She challenged me, "do you have twenty millions rupiahs? that will be the cost to fly and to go to the United States!", right in front of my face she asked, and I replied "No!", but inside of me I took her words as a challenge. On August 13th, 1994 - I landed on Los Angeles, CA with $1 in my pocket which helped me to survived for more than four years through Bible College.

Once I finished Bible College, I was ready in setting for another goal but again I faced another person who tried to dissuade me from going to continue my study at Portland State University. She challenged me, "Portland State music program will be too hard for you! do you know it costs $6000 per term? do you have any financial support?", "No!" I replied, but I took her words as a challenge. I worked really hard, and on June 2006 I graduated from Portland State University.

My musical journey has been marked by "responded challenges" as well. I remembered when I was sixteen years old, I found my self in a prayer group, we were all singing and there was no musician accompanied us with guitar or piano, I took that situation as a challenge. Even though I never had guitar or music lesson before, I took a guitar and I started to play by ear. Since that day, everything became so obvious with other instruments. When I was sophomore in Portland State University, my professors tried to dissuade me from taking new instrument such as String Bass and learning classical music. They said "It is impossible to learn string bass at your age, and to graduate with two programs jazz and classical, and if it happens, then it will be a phenomenal!" I was stubborn and I took their words as a challenge.

The way I see it, there is always new challenge as we breath the air and every day presents new opportunity to yield. I have been busy as a "player" for the past twelve years, accomplishing one challenge to the other. It was tiring journey but yet satisfying and full of adventures, and I love it!

This season I play a different role. Sitting and cheering my husband in accomplishing his goal, not mine. Standing and applauding my husband in making his score, not mine. Yielding and supporting my husband in taking his prize, not mine. This season presents a new and unfamiliar challenge for me; it is the season to understand that "It's not all about me and mine!"

This morning, as I prayed, "Dear God please give me new challenge!" somehow I realized that "THIS IS IT!." The challenge of this season for me to overcome is to learn to yield, after all it is not all about me and what I am capable to accomplish, it is all about HIM!

The challenge of yielding my status from being a "player" unto "supporter" is that I am tempted to loose sight. Instead of seeing the glass half full, I tempted to see glass half empty "what about me and mine attitude" and the irony is that I did not even realize this as a challenge until this morning...

I will always see glass half empty because I am hunger not pessimistic. I will always see glass half empty because I am eager not indifferent , and I will always see glass half empty because I am passionate not full of apathy. The wisdom of seeing glass half empty is as good as my attitude....

Merry Christmas and have a wonderful new year!